Farewells,hardships, and vacations

I wrote this post a few weeks back and have waited to publish until now. Sorry no photo but you can just imagine a few suitcases that are open and being filled with all the goodies we will need on our trip. One is filled with things to entertain us on the beach Frisbees, snorkeling things, flippers. For the quiet down time a little extra work for Expat Son to keep sharp and practice his math skills over the long break. Books for Hubby and Tai-Tai and books for Son too. Sunscreen and bathroom things and all of this is packed nicely in zipper bags anything that is liquid and has the potential to leak. The other two cases are filled with lots of summer clothes and swim suits and of course I have all my shoes to coordinate with my lovely summer dresses. Hubby has been calling me Imelda as I tried to go through the pile of shoes and made decisions on only the necessary ones I would need. Don't forget the beach towels and the beach bag...This trip has been a long anticipated and longed for a trip I used to dream of going on when I was a kid. A land I enjoyed reading about and making reports about when I was in school, and food that I absolutely love! So as you read about my whinging of hardships etc. I will be heading to the airport for the beginning of our well deserved vacation. I am ready and so are my boys!

The past few weeks have been busy ones as they are for everyone with children in school.The children are all busy finishing off work and having exams on top of this they are practicing for end of school year performances. By mid May I notice that Expat son is usually tired and just wants a day off . Quite frankly I think the end of the year should be the last day of May. The kids usually start school by mid August. The heat and humidity here is sweltering and literally drains the energy out of everyone. I really feel for the kids as they trudge on through the middle of June.

On top of that we live in a community that is close knit and this is the time that people move to new assignments. So we have goodbye parties or lunches for our friends. We also have get togethers with our friends, one last time before we all leave to go our separate ways for our much needed home leaves, or for some of us if we are not going home to have a taste of civilization away from China.
Even though it is a bit easier to live in China than it was eleven years ago it is still a hardship to live here. The day to day grind on the wives that are keeping the home together, the kids and husbands happy. The children that are tired each morning and don't want to go to school because the heat each day is sweltering and they are just plain ready for a break. The husbands that work at the office, factories, business trips and then they are found at their computers at home or on the phone with the headquarters putting in more time at work when they should be spending it with their families.
The leave is a perfect time for the husbands to spend quality time with their families and hopefully while they are on leave they will not spend too much time connecting with the office.

We all look forward to our leaves for different reasons...some of my friends cannot wait to go back home to be in their own country and culture. Some of our friends like us are happy to leave and go someplace else for a real vacation. Home leaves at home for us have always been a hectic time, between touching base with friends and family it is a time for touching base with doctors,dentists and opticians as well. This year those appointments will happen but they will happen on day trips to Hong Kong to visit Doctors that specialize in those fields. Not the doctors that are at the medical clinic here. One of our hardships here is medical, though we have a nice clinic it is really more of a band-aide clinic than anything else and any real medical problem in our family is taken to Hong Kong where blood tests are more reliable as well as any other tests that need to be done. I am not saying the doctors are not good in our clinic however, it is the local medical laboratories and the local staff that are not the best and at times drop the ball a little too often.

Other hardships faced by the families and predominantly by the wives is the language barrier...unless of course you are wonderful at languages and have mastered the Chinese language and at times this still does not help because then you have the cultural differences. One of those is that in China at least here in GZ it is a man's world. Basically if you ask for something to be done and the repair guy comes depending on his mood and if he thinks it should be done he may or may not repair it.  So then you get to call the same guy back several times to fix the one thing you wanted fixed the first time correctly. I have a bit of an understanding of construction and tools and fasteners..... so when the repair man comes I tell him how to do it, usually the third time he comes back he does it my way. I know he thinks I am a stupid woman but I am not and he should have done it my way first. Makes you feel like banging your head on the wall !!!!!

Another hardship is that you don't have the freedom to jump in your car and drive wherever you want like you do in the states. Because our company won't let us drive we are dependent on a driver and when he has a day off we are dependent on taxis. This is frustrating, if your husband has the car most of the time like mine does, then you are dependent on taxis or catching rides with your friends. This means you learn to plan ahead or do without as grocery shopping is at least a 45 minute drive away.

Another hardship is that we live in a very polluted country where people still use the street as a toilet and throw their garbage anywhere they please. It is so nice to go home or to another place where people understand and know that it is not acceptable to toilet on the street or to litter. I remember going to Sweden years ago and seeing how clean it was, I was amazed that the waste bin in the hotel rooms were divided into sections for recycling it was awesome. What a super idea. When we were living in the states I was all over the whole sorting my garbage into separate bins I loved the whole idea! Yes I am an organizer and a clean freak so all the cans and bottles were rinsed etc. too.

Food Sanitation.....over the years this one has just become rote for all of us in the family. Everything is washed and or sanitized. It is a necessity here and I was amazed when we were living in the states how much an impression it made on Expat daughter The impression was so great that she would question everything made in the school cafeteria, so much that I had to ask the school district food service providers manager about the salads for my daughter, who was afraid to eat the salads, because they were not visibly on ice. They were on a refrigerated stainless steel platform instead. Luckily I knew the manager and she knew that we were overseas for several years. She was actually impressed with the question from a student. I had to reassure my daughter that the lettuce and other vegetables were all clean in that salad and she could eat it.
Another carry over was and still is that meat is cooked thoroughly and eggs too. Expat daughter when taken out for a good steak has it cooked well done even burnt the same with her eggs. This is commented on by my Father as he thinks that is a waste of good meat and likes his steak rare. Yuck! I prefer mine pink in the middle medium well.

Another hardship is Privacy.... distinguishing work from play and how many people don't understand work is work and home is home.  Working overseas is like being in the military in many ways. One of those hardships is that your life is not your own. The company owns it / runs it.  You get permission to go away for the weekend, they have to know where you are going,staying and how you are getting there and back. They tell you where you can live. Sometimes it feels like you need to ask permission to have sex with your spouse. Thankfully it has not come to that yet. On occasion we have had some managers that delve into the home life of the expats and quite frankly those people cross a line that should not be crossed, and truth be told those people could be in a lot of trouble. However those managers luckily have not been around for very long they always seem to be weeded out.

Spiritual hardship. This one for many is difficult. I have managed to deal with this by doing a bible study on my own as for me this is a precious time. However around the big holidays I enjoy going to church to worship with other believers in my faith. We usually go to Hong Kong around Easter and Christmas so I can get my church fix. Even though there is a non denominational fellowship here in GZ  I was turned off by it years ago and am not willing to go back despite the fact that people have changed, I just don't want to go there again.

These are a just a few hardships that we face in the Expat community here in China, so we are happy to go away for a well deserved break away from those hardships and the many others that were not mentioned. If only for a few weeks of sanity, some good food, some quality time spent with spouses and kids and see some new scenery along the way. Hopefully we all will come back renewed from our respite away from GZ.

In the words of Pooh Bear ...Ta Ta For Now!